WHAT IF?
by Antoni
Summary: This is a number of oneshots about Addison. I thought about what could have happened if she had decided different a few times in her life. I don t own anything.
1. Addison had never cheated on Derek?

Hey guys,

I thought I write a number of oneshots about Addison and what would have happened if she had decided different at some points of her life.

Sadly I don`t own any of those characters, all Shonda`s.

I hope you`ll like it, enjoy.

* * *

WHAT IF....

… Addison had never cheated on Derek?

She was sitting at home again waiting for Derek to finally come home. He promised he would be home in time for their twelfth anniversary. He said he would be home at 6 pm so he could take her out for a candle-light dinner.

Unfortunately he was already 4 hours late and Addison was desperately fighting the tears and after she had lost the fight she eventually fell asleep.

When she woke up at 4 in the morning the other side of the bed was still emtpy and this was the moment she decided that she had waited enough.

She had enough of only being his showpiece-wife at important charity balls.

He obviously didn`t care anymore or at least that was how it felt for her. She knew he wanted to be the best. He has this damn god-complex and she has always been aware of that but the last 2 years all he is doing is working.

He sleeps in on-call rooms to not miss a special case, forgets anniversarys, chirstmases, thanksgivings and birthdays.

Two hours later she arrived at the hospital herself to be there in time for rounds. It was noon when she first ran into Derek. She had hoped he would at least have a good excuse and would apoligize but all she got was a hi.

He never kissed her on the cheek anymore which was at least a sign that he still cared but for about a year and a half ago even that stopped and it was slowly ripping her into tiny little peaces. Everytime she sees him and he practically ignores her it breaks her more and by now she is a wreck.

She decided not to ask him what got in his way because he obviously forgot their anniversary anyway.

Addison left the hospital at 5 pm and drove home after calling the realtor to tell her she would take the luxury falt in Manhatten.

She started to establish her new home the same evening and was moved out of the brownstone 5 days later and Derek still hadn`t noticed a thing or at least he hasn`t approched the topic just yet.

She had enough and sent divorce papers to his office and those came back signed a week later.

* * *

So what do you think? Would be happy about some reviews because I still have lots of ideas for the following stories but I won`t write them if there is no interst in reading them.

So if you like it, or not like it please review. I`m looking forward to.


	2. Addison had left Mark but had the baby?

WHAT IF.....

…Addison had left Mark but had the baby?

* * *

It has been 15 month since Derek had left New York, 13 month and 2 weeks since Addison had found out about being pregnant with Mark`s child and 12 month since she ended her relationship with Mark because he had cheated on her.

FLASHBACK

"Hey honey." he greeded her at 7 pm. She somehow looked different. Had she been crying?  
"Addison are you okay?" he asked her because she hadn`t greeted him.

"No Mark, I`m not okay. I can`t do this any longer." she replied with a cracked voice.

"What do you mean?" He asked somehow feeling what was about to come.

"I mean that I won`t watch you any longer screwing Charleen and just god knows who else." she said flourishing with her arms and her voice became louder.

"Addie it was just a one time thing. It won`t happen again, I promise." the man sounded somehow desperate but also scared, mad and sad.

"Mark even if it was just a one-time thing, it sure will happen again. I know I cheated at Derek but I also know that it was a mistake. You don`t even feel guilty." Sadly she looked at the ground trying not to become a victim of those damn pregnancy hormones again. She didn`t want to cry infront of him. Not anymore when he was the reason.

"I do feel guitly Addison. But I was scared to be with you. I was scared that I am not good enough for you, that you earn someone so much better than me. I love you so much."

he couldn`t finish his sentence. His voice was suddenly gone and he had tears shimmering in his eyes.

"Mark I don`t think us being together is right. You know I care for you. I really care for you so much but I`m not in love with you. It wouldn`t be right for us being girlfriend and boyfriend."

"Addison please. Give us a real chance. We`re having a baby" he pleaded with her making a step towards her but she made one back.

"I won`t take the baby away from you Mark. You`ll always be welcome here but just as the baby`s father and maybe as my friend but there will be nothing more."

END FLASHBACK

That was how they were living the last couple of month. Mark would be there for her during pregnancy, during birth and he would always be there when Addison was in need for 2 more hands because of their son. Their son who was now 6 and a half month old was a really happy baby. He clearly loved both of his parents and didn`t enjoy ones attention more than the others.

"We`re back!" Mark announced while he shove the buggy in to the brownstones hall.

"Hi you two, did you have fun together?" she asked the little boy who giggled at his mother.

"Emil had lots of fun with feeding the ducks yesterday afternoon, right baby?" Mark cooed at the little man who was now in his mommys arms. The baby gurgled in response and smiled at his daddy. Emil had his mommy`s green-blue eyes but Mark`s hair color. He looked like a perfect mix of both of them.

"Thanks again for taking him for the whole night." She gave him a grateful smile and walked into the livingroom and placed Emil on his playing ground.

This was the first time that she had been seperated from him ever since he was born but it was really good for her to get out of the house without a baby.

She went on a date and it went really well. The guy, his name is Alex Ryan, is really great. They were on dates before and he didn`t mind that Addison had a son. He has a child too so he was relieved that Addison wouldn`t mind either. His little girl Charlotte is 4 years now and living with Alex. When Charlotte was about Emil`s age her mom died in a car crash.

"How was your date?" He asked now curious. They were friends again. Mark had changed over the last year. He is dating now, too with success.

"It was good. No it was great. I think I`m falling for him" she said daydreaming about the man that made her smile again.

"I`m happy for you" he said feeling happy that his son`s mother was finally happy again.

"Thank you." Her eyes were shining like the sun and you could clearly see her happiness in them. Her eyes got even brighter when Emil turned for the frist time from his back onto his belly, then she applouded and kissed the boy, who looked slightly surpriesd, everywhere not leaving a spot.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Please review =D


	3. Addison stayed with Mark and had a baby?

WHAT IF...

... Addison hasn`t left Mark and had the baby?

* * *

In has been 3 month since Derek had left. Ever since that Addison was living with Mark in his appartment because she coulnd`t stand being in the brownstone without Derek. Even if she was in love with Mark, at least she thought she was in love with him, she still was missing Derek like crazy. Since they got married they weren`t apart for longer that a few nights. But that didn`t matter now because she and Mark were a couple and in 6 month they would be parents.

"Addison I`m home" Mark greeted her as soon as he entered the appartment.

"Hey" she replied quietly. Frequently she had become more quiet.

"Are you okay honey?" he asked for the thousands time since he noticed that something was terribly wrong.

"Adds?" he said her nickname to get her attention.

"Why are you doing it?" she asked tieredly.

"What are you talking about?" He sat down next to her turning her head,with his hands on her cheeks,so she would face him.

"Sleeping with Charleen.

"How did you find out?"  
"Why does it matter how I found out? Fact is you`re sleeping with her."

"Ohh Addie, it meant nothing. I swear."

"Then why are you doing it?" she asked with teary-eyes.

"I don`t know why Addison, I am so sorry."  
"It`s not done with one I`m sorry. Mark you cheated on me several times and I am pretty sure there are times I don`t know about or other women I don`t know about, right?"  
"Addie"  
"Please just be honest with me Mark. Don`t lie to me and make it worse. I need to know the truth." she pleaded with him.

"There were other women."

"How many?"  
"3 other women"  
"3 other women? Why? Am I not good enough or do I not scratch your itch? Tell me why you`re doing this. We`re having a baby for gods sake." Her voice was shaky and faint. She was exhausted all that took too much energy from her.

"You are the first woman I have ever been in a relationship with. I don`t know how to do this and I`m scared I`m going to screw it up or you just leave me so I guess it would make it easier if I don`t get too envolved in this relationship. I`m scared to loose you because I love you so much. I don`t want to get hurt. I`m scared of getting hurt. Please forgive me." Honesty. It surprised her how honest he was suddenly talking.

"I can`t do this Mark. If I can`t trust you., I have to think about our baby Mark. It needs a stable home not a father who cheats on his mother all the time."  
"Addie I promise I will change. No other women. You and the baby are the most important people for me. I love you two so much that it scares me. Give me another chance. Please."  
"Mark I"  
"You don`t have to decide this right now. Think about it and do what you think is the right thing to do. But please mind that you are the only woman I have ever loved"

"Okay. I think I will just check into a hotel."

"You don`t have to. Stay I`ll go." He offered.

"No I need to be away from all this. I think a hotel will be good. But I appreaciate the offer" with this she stood up and went into the bedroom to pack.

53 days have passed since that talk and Mark hadn`t heard anything from Addison. He just run into her in the hospital a few times, but he could say that she was avoiding him and he didn`t want her to feel hurried in making a decision or being forced to make a decision.

Addison had thought a lot. She even made a list about the pros and cons, talked to Nancy, Savvy and to her unborn child. But she still didn`t know what to do.

If she would do what he heart wass telling her she would be already back in Marks arms, but her head was screaming to run. All the time. Everytime she thought she would go back to Mark her brain suddenly became active and told her what a stupid decision it was to go back.

Who would win? Heart or head? Who was right is probably the more important question to ask but deep down she knew she wasn`t able to resist Mark for long.

It was almost midnight and she couldn`t fall asleep. That´s how it went the last 53 nights. She just couldn`t fall asleep alone. But now that the baby was kicking her all the time at night she was a little more realexed because she knew, no matter what she would decide there would still be someone who loved her.

But what made it worse is that she is always thinking about what to do. And suddenly she made a decision. She called a cap and left the hotel in her pyjamas and drove to Mark`s appartment and let herself in.

She silently walked towards the bedroom hoping to not find him screwing anyone else. If there was anybody else with him, she knew her brain was right. If not, she would just listen to her heart trying to be happy.

Luckily there was only one person in the bed. Sound a sleep was he cuddeling with Addisons pillow. She slowly tiptoed to her side of the bed took the pillow from Mark and snuggled up to him.

He instantly put his strong arms around her waist and pulled her as close as her now visible, cute little bumb would allow it.

He didn`t wake up but he felt her Anwesendheit clearly. He even said something but Addison didn`t understand.

The following day Mark already woke up at 6:30 and the first thing he noticed was a small kick into his lower abdomen and he opend his eyes to find the love of his life sleeping peacefully next to him.

He didn`t dare to move as he could say that she was cleary in need for a little more sleep. He already noticed at the hospital even if he hadn`t seen her in almost 4 weeks. That let him worry but he soon found out that she went to visit her brother Archer to get away from all her problems.

He watched her full 2 hours when she shifted lightly growning something and snuggling closer on his chest. He hardened his grip around her waist so she would feel safe and loved. He knew she liked it that way.

"I missed you." she whispered. It was barely audible but he heard it and felt even more happy now.

"I missed you, too. So much" he kissed on her head. What made her grown. She definitely wasn`t a morning person and he liked her being a little grumpy sometimes.

It`s kind of cute. A big smile covered his face and he pulled her even closer feeling another kick. He was picturing their future. He never thought he would have a kid one day but now he was happier than ever before.

He already thought about names. For both, girl and boy. He couldn`t say what he wanted more. One day he thinks about girl, the exact copy of Addison of course, one day he imagines a little boy who he plays soccer with.

* * *

This was part one of two.

Hope you liked it. I`m waiting for some reviews maybe with some suggestions weather the baby is a boy or a girl.


	4. Addie stayed with Mark and had a baby? 2

WHAT IF...

... Addison hasn`t left Mark and had the baby?

Part 2

* * *

"So what does daddy think?" Addison asked after she suggested another name. They didn`t agree on one lousy name. Well who would have guessed otherwise. They just never agree on anything!

"What about Benjamin?" Mark suggested trying his luck again with another name.

"No!"

"Oh come on Mark he needs a name. He`s a week old and he`s still nameless" she suddenly showed him her frustraition.

"He needs a name!" she almost yelled but could controle herself to not disturbe the sleeping infant.

"How about we write our favs down and draw lots?" he then submitted expecting her to continue screaming how he could even suggest to draw lots on their sons name.

"Okay."  
"One name for each of us?"  
"Yes"  
"Fine. But no matter which name it`ll be his name! And the other name can be his second name"

"Okay"

They both didn`t have to think about which name to write down. They had their favorite names ever since they found out that they were having a boy.

"I`m ready" he said after he wrinkled up the small piece of paper.

"So am I" Addison gave him a small smile. Scared the wrong name would be picked.

"Close you`re eyes and pick a lose" Mark instructed.

She did as she was told and took both loses, holding one in each hand, then gave one back to Mark and opened her eyes.

"Do you want to open it?" he asked and gave her an encouranging smile and a kiss on to the forehead.

"No you open it"  
"Okay. Let`s see, looks like I won"

"So what`s his name?" she asked disappointed.

He didn`t reply instantly but chuckled as he read the second piece of paper.

"Well I think his name is Adam Sloan"  
"Seriously? Why haven`t we agreed on that name weeks ago?"

"I can`t remember you ever suggested it" he replied laughing.

"Well you haven`t either!"

"Obviously not"

"So Adam what do you think about your name? Do you like it? It took us quiet a while to agree on a name for you!"

The baby who had been sleeping begun to fuss and his eyelids fluttered open. Adam begun whining but stopped when Addison picked him up and placed him on the bed between Mark and her.

"He`s perfect"  
"He is. I love you Mark"  
"I love you just as much maybe even more" he kissed her on the lips.

They were a family for already a week now but this family wasn`t complete just yet and they both knew it.

THE END

* * *

So this was part 2.

I`m not really happy with this chapter and I actually wrote it while watching tv, but I haven`t had a better idea.

Well please review and tell me what you want me to work on next.


	5. Derek realized his absence in time?

I don`t own anything. I hope you`ll like it.

WHAT IF...

Derek realized his absence before Addison cheated?

* * *

It`s been quiet a while since he showed up to one of their dates. He had promised he would take her out tonight because he forgot their anniversary dinner a week earlier. Their ninth wedding anniversary.

He had lost interrest in her already over a year ago and became a workaholic. He desperately tried to satisfy his god complex by becoming the best neuro-surgen and he was on the best way to become the best one.

The thing is, Addison who loved her job as well, was already the best neonatl-surgen in the United States without forgetting about her private life. 

She would never forget birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgiving nor anniversarys and be home in time or at least call when she couldn`t make it.

"Dr. Shepherd since when are you here?" the chief of surgery asked Derek at 9 pm. He was supposed to pick up Addison 2 hours earlier.

"Uhm I don`t know honestly." He said sheepishly.

"Well but I know. You`re here for 76 hours. I don`t know how much you have slept since then but I know that you have a wife at home, waiting for you to show up and if I`m right this hasn`t happened often in the last couple of month that you show up at all.

"Did Addison talk to you?" he asked his boss now angrily.

"No. Addison is to proud to ask me to send you home. But I know you guys now long enough and I see that Addison is really unhappy and someone asked me to talk to you about it. Derek go home to your wife. I don`t want to see you here the next 3 weeks do you understand?"

"What? I`m suspended? Why?"  
"No you`re not suspended you`re taking time off and so does you`re wife. Go home and tell her. As far as I know has she left 3 hours ago when her shift ended."

"I don`t want to take time off. I need to work!"  
"Why do you need to work?" 

"I just need to. You can`t force me to take time off Chief!"  
"Yes I can. If that means that I have to suspend you, I`ll do that. But I won`t watch you any longer destroying your marriage or more important Addison. She is unhappy, desperate"

"So she talked to you" Derek stated angrily.

"No she did not talk to me, but someone else did." 

"Derek you practically live in this hospital and someone else is practically living with your wife. You always send Sloan to her instead. Do you really think he`s the solution of you guy`s problems?"

"Addison and I don`t have any problems. She understands that I need to work that much!" 

"Maybe she understands, but she`s still missing her husband. Derek go home. Talk to her go on a vacation just the two of you and if I have to, then I will throw you out after all your shifts!"

"Good night Chief!" 

Half an hour later:

"Addie? Are you home?" he called when he stepped into the brownstone.

He could hear her sniffing. Was she crying? Did he really turn out as a husband that bad?  
He walked up the stairs towards their master bedroom and slowly opened the door. Not knowing what to expect.

A crying Addison is something that never happens. Normally.

"Adds? I`m sorry I`m late." He tried to apologize and stroke over her humid cheek. She was curled into a fetal position.

"Sweetie please talk to me." He almost begged. It scared him that she was crying, but shouldn`t this be normal? Shouldn`t a husband know how to sooth his crying wife?

"I`m sorry I wasn`t home much lately, I really am. I love you Addison" he tried using her full name and he rarely called her Addison. Most of the time it`s Addie, Add or Adds, but almost never Addison.

"Why?" she sat up and faced him with puffy eyes.  
"Why what?" he continued stroking her cheek lovingly.

"Why wouldn`t you come home the last couple of month? Is it really just work or were you trying to avoid me? If you don`t want this marriage anymore just tell me Derek."

"That´s rubbish Addison. I love you and I don`t want our marriage to end. I think I just needed a wake-up call to remember what`s important in life."  
"Who gave you the wake-up call?"she asked with a broken voice

"The Chief"  
"Why would he do that?" 

"Don`t know but he also gave both of us 3 weeks of and he told me not to come near the hospital or else I`m fired."

"Really? We have both 3 weeks of?" 

"Yes we do. But I though we could make it a leave of absence for about 3 month. What do you think. The two of us going on a vacation, alone? Paris, Venice, whatever city you`d like to visit"

"Really? Are you serious?" 

"Yes I am. Do you still want to go to dinner?"  
"No, but I am indeed hungry" 

"Well I could cook something, but I`m pretty sure our refrigerator is empty. Am I right?" 

"You are. You could just order pizza"  
"You want pizza?"  
"Yes please"

* * *

They decided to first spend some time at their house in the hamptons so they could book a nice, fency suite in a Paris` hotel.

Derek wanted it to remind them of their honeymoon. So they enjoyed each others company in the hamptons for 14 full days.

It was 9 am and Derek watched his beautiful wife sleep until she begun to fuss and her eyelids suddenly flutterd open.

"Good morning" her reply wasn`t quiet understandable because he kissed her softly on the lips and she moaned.

"This clearly is a good morning. Since when have you been up?" Addison was noticably happier than she was for a long time. She would laugh and smile like she used to before Derek became absent, she would make jokes and laugh about them herself and all that made Derek happier too.

"I don`t know. Time goes by so fast when I can watch the most beautiful woman sleep in my arms"

"Ohh shut up!"

"What would you like to do today?"  
"I`d like to do some talking and enjoying the weather. What do you think?"

"What kind of talking? Am I in trouble?" he asked halfly kidding but he honestly didn`t know what she wanted to talk about.

"About our future. The plans we once had"  
"I think that`s a great topic to talk about. Do you still want to make our plans reality?" 

"Yes I do. Do you?"  
"I do. More than you know."

"But not until we have a stable marriage."  
"I think our marriage is very strong and stable and I think our plans would make our marriage even stronger and happier." He replied softly.

"I can`t do it right now. Not until I know you won`t become a workaholic again. Derek I need you more than you can possible imagine." Her voice sounds hurt, unsure and scared and he looked into her eyes and pulled her closer to him so she could lean on him and be in his arms. Feel safe so there`s no need for her to be afraid of anything. He felt her body realex against his and she just enjoyed his presence.

"Good because I need you too. So much. There is no way I`m letting you go. I love you so much, okay?"  
"Hmm" She turned so she could look at him and after she saw his smile she snuggled closer and whispered "I love you too".

* * *

"Look Derek, there are cute little few-finders" chuckling he turned to his wife and gave her the money she needed so the few-finder would work and she could look threw them.

They have been in Paris for 4 weeks yet and this was their last day and Addisons birthday. They would spend the day doing whatever she wanted and this evening he would take her to a fency restaurant and have dinner with her.

"Do you enjoy the day?"  
"Yes I do. Thank you" she gave him a quick peek and turned her attention back to the few-finder.

"You love this few-finder more than me, don`t you?" he acted as if he was crying and he even managed to let a single tear run down his cheek.

"Oh poor Derek. I think I love you and the really cute little few-finder just the same" she laughed and kissed him again but this time he didn`t let her attention go back to the few-finder and pulled her closer.

His hand wandered down her back getting really near to a forbidden terretory. At least in puplic it was forbidden terretory.

"Derek we`re in puplic. You realise that, right?"  
"Hmm. Too bad"

"Oh come on we aren`t doing anything else since we arrived here or the two weeks in the Hamptons before. You should be able to go without sex for a couple of hours"

"You make it just so hard because of you`re really, really, sexy body and those beautiful breasts of yours and your eyes and I could contine that a couple of years but I`m pretty sure you won`t listen for so long so"

"I love you and by the way, so between you and me, I think you`re pretty sexy yourself." She grasped his ass and he jumped in response and she instantly felt what she did to him just because she grasped his ass.

"Derek you`re really hard!" she first whispered but had to laugh loudly. She shifted a little.

"You might not want to move just yet or else the people will see what you did to me."

"Sorry" she was still laughing loudy until it hurt.

"Can we please stay like that forever? As happy we are since our leave of absence."

"I hope so" was his reply. "Addie I want nothing more than to be happy with you"  
"Do you think we should try?"

"What do you mean?" he asked slightly surprised.

"I mean having a baby. I want us to have a baby."

"I thought you said you weren`t ready yet when we were in the Hamptons."  
"I know but it`s a month later and we don`t get any younger and I think we are on a good way to make our marriage as strong as it used to be. All I need you to do for it is not to decide work over me again. Do you think you can do that? Am I more important for you than your work?"

"Addison you are everything for me. I didn`t notice how I treated you. I didn`t know how you felt, well I think I knew how you felt but I didn`t want to admitt it. Now I know it and I`m more sorry than you can possible imagine and there is nothing I want more than having a baby with you. We, the two of us, are already a family but I want us to become a family of at least three. I want a baby with you or two or three."

"Thank you Derek. But I think we should start with one baby, okay?"  
"Okay. I`m looking forward to make a baby with you."

"I bet you do! But so do I. Can we go to dinner now? I`m hungry." She stated.

"Sure."

* * *

5 month later

"Hey Addie, I left the hospital early in hope you`d be home. I`ll be home in 30 minutes call me back if you`re not home. Love you"

That he told Addisons mailbox because she didn`t pick up her cellphone.

She didn`t call back what made him worry a little. He knew she wasn`t feeling well that morning and that`s why she left the hospital early.

He entered their brownstone calling her name but she didn`t respond. He first looked for her on the first floor, in the living room, the office and the kitchen then he walked up the stairs into their master-bedroom where he saw her fast asleep in their king-sized bed. He let out a breath of relive and walked closer towards his wife.

He layed down next to her, gave her a kiss and pulld her close to him.

She started to fuss and snuggled closer to her husband, opened her eyes and looked up to him.

"Sorry, I didn`t meant to wake you up. How are you?" he asked her worried.

"Still nauseaus but I think I can live with that." That`s when a big smile spread across her face.

"What is it?" he asked now curious that she suddenly smiled so widely.

"You know I found out earlier, that we`ll be parents in less than 8 month"

"Seriously?"  
"Yes seriously."

"I love you so so much Addison Shepherd"  
"I love you too. Kiss?" she asked cute looking at him happy.

So this was oneshot number 5. I hope you liked it.

I`m waiting for some reviews and please tell me what you don`t like about my stile of writing so I know how I can improve.


	6. Derek had been serious about trying?

WHAT IF...

… Derek had been serious about making their marriage work?

It`s been 2 month since Addison moved into the tiny trailer or how she preferes to call it the lunch-box.

It`s been hard at first for both of them. They would sleep as far away from each other as possible and let`s say with a bed so small, it`s hilarious how much space was between them.

But it`s getting better. Now they take one car to drive to the hospital, they meet for lunch in the cafeteria or leave the hospital together and go out for dinner and spend their days off together.

They were starting to enjoy spending time together again and Addison noticed that the flirting between Derek and Meredith finally faded and he started to notice her more again.

But even if it went good between them, they haven`t had sex yet.

"I thought we could have sex tonight." blurred out of her mouth before she could gave it a second thought.

Derek looked at her not sure how to react.

"Okay" was his short reply.

"Okay? Are you sure?" Addison asked nervous.

"Yes. We always had great sex. Amazing sex and I think if we could have this amazing sex again we might get closer again. I miss us." He looked hopefull and that gives her hope too.

"You do?"  
"I do." He smiled at her with his McDreamy smile and she smiled back relived it went that good.

"I miss us too."

"Tonight then."

"Tonight. You know in a perfect moment you would kiss me now." She smiled at him.

"My pleasure." And he kissed her like he hasn`t kissed her in like forever and she started moaning as his hands went down her back slowly.

"You know we`re on a ferry, right?" she finally told him when he kissed down her neck leaving a hickey.

"Yeah, too bad."  
"Derek stop." She mangaged to say even if she was visibly enjoying the attention he was giving her.

"Promise we`ll contine that tonight?"  
"Ohh I promise you that."

Her hand went to the spot where she assumed he had made her a hickey.

"Derek did you just gave me a hickey? On my neck?"  
"Sweet sorry?" he looked at her and gave her his cutes smile.

"Derek, now everyone will…"  
"Addison, we are married and it´s just normal to have sex. This is nothing bad just a sign that we`re doing better."

"You`ll regret that."  
"Ohh are you going to punish me tonight?" he smirked.

"Count on it!" she gave his ass a squeez which she knew turned him on. It always had and she just had to have a little fun.

The next morning 5:00 am

"It can`t be time to get up can it?" she mumbled when she felt Derek pull her closer and she burried her head in his chest.

"I think it is" he mumbled back not showing any interest in moving and stop the annoying ringing.

"When did we go to sleep?" she groned.

"About an hour ago I think"

"Aww thank good I don`t have any surgeries scheduled just yet."  
"I have one in 3 hours."  
"Sorry for that. I`m cold." She whined.

"Oh do you want me to make you warmer?"  
"I want to sleep."

"I`ll call in sick for you. What do you think?"  
"As long as I can sleep I`m okay with it. I would be off at noon anyway." She snuggled closer.

"But honey I have to get up. I have a surgery scheduled."

"Which isn`t before 3 more hours. Which means you can stay here for another hour."  
"I have rounds earlier. I have to go. Go back to sleep baby."

"hmm" And less than a minute later, she was fast asleep again.

"Sleep well" he whispered and kissed her forehead.

When he came back home Addison was waiting for him outside the trailer. She was reading and she was wearing her glasses and that Derek found incredible hot.

"Hey there." He greeted her when he was 5 meters away from her.

"Hi, how was your day?" she asked smiling at him.

"Boring, successful routine surgery, annoying interns, annoying nurses but now I`m back home with my beautiful wife. How was your day?"

"Nothing important, I slept in, went out for a jog and did some shopping."

"You know tomorrow is my day off, and tomorrow is your day off and I thought that we could sleep in again." He smirked at her now standing only a small step away from her.

The next morning 9:30 am.

Their feet were tangled together and her head was buried between his torso and his left arm. She heard his steady heartbeat enjoying the warmness she got from him.

It felt good to wake up like that again. She was afraid it would never happen again but their marriage became stronger again.

They are happy and sure they would become AddisonandDerek again.

* * *

So what do you thing? Shall I write a part 2 for this one?


	7. Addison has a 24year old secret?

…. Addison has a 24-year old secret?

I am Carolin Schmitt, 24 years old and I grew up in Germany. I was adopted as a baby and my mother was from the United States. My parents always told me that my mother was living in Conetticut and was only 17 years old when she gave birth to me.

My parents also told me that my birth mother never wanted to give me up for adoption but her parents were very rich people and they had custody for my mother and for me and that`s how they could give me up for adoption without my moms approval.

No one, not even family members, should find out about my moms pregnancy so they sent her away to live with nuns until she gave birth to me and then afterwards they took her back home so she could become a surgen.

I always knew that I was adopted. My parents told me the day I asked where the babies come from.  
My mama explained me that babies come out of their mommy`s belly but that I didn`t come out of her belly but from another mommy.

I couldn't understand it back then, I was only 3 years old but it helped me a lot to live with the fact that I was adopted.

I love my parents but I always wanted to know my birth mother. I wanted to know if it was true that she never wanted to give me up for adoption. I wanted to know what kind of a person she was and now I am infront of her house.

I wanted to meet her for so long but now that I`m infront of her home, I`m scared. Really scared of how she would react. I mean she probably has a family now with children and a husband.

But after a couple of minutes I finally decided to ring the bell and it took only about 5 seconds for someone to open the door.

I knew immediately that this was her. It had to be her.

The red hair, the green-blue eyes. I have the same eyes but my hair is a little more brown than hers.

But our eyes are alike.

"Are you Addison Montgomery?" I asked even if I already knew the answer. I just had to ask to make sure I wasn`t wrong.

"Yes that`s me" she smiled warmly at me. This was my mom. My real mommy and I think she knew instantly who I was because she pulled me into a deep embrace and begun sobbing. Her whole body was shaking.

Then she looked at me and asked me to come inside and she led me into the living area. I could say that she had taste. Everything matched perfectly.

"What`s your name?" she asked me with glittering eyes.

"Carolin Schmitt" I replied. I somehow felt comfortable in this house. I felt welcome and safe.

"I called you Kate. If I had kept you your name would be Kate." Addison said unsure how to act in this situation. She didn`t expect to see me ever again. She had just one photograph of me. It was taken right after she gave birth to me and she hold me tighly against her chest. She looked really happy but sad as well. Sad because she knew this would be the only time she would be able to hold me in her arms.

"I like the name. I think it suits me"  
"Yes I think it does."

"I am so sorry that I couldn`t be your mom. That I coulnd`t be there for you but you have to belive me that I love you so much Carolin"  
"It`s okay, mommy. Can I call you mommy?" I asked smiling.

Addison couldn`t speak so she just nodded her head and more tears began to run down her cheeks and I sat next to her hugging her closely.

This was the beginning of our both lifes.

Reviews please ;)


	8. Derek had been serious about trying? P:2

As Mariella said sweet please in the review she wrote a couple of days ago and with that beat me with my own game, i have to write a part two of this. I hope you will enjoy this chapter, but just to be sure you should read chapter 6 "What if Derek had been serious about making their marriage work?"

Sadly I don`t own anything

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.

What if...

… Derek had been serious about making their marriage work?

PART 2

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Their feet were tangled together and her head was buried between his torso and his right arm. She heard his steady heartbeat enjoying the warmness lead over by Derek`s body.

That`s how Addison and Derek wake up every morning now, except for the days on which one of them was called in during the night.

This morning though their sleep was interupted by the doorbell which rung way too early for their taste.

"Stay in bed I get it." Derek instructed kissing his wife good morning on top of her head. With that he left their new (well now it wasn`t that new anymore) master bedroom. They bought a nice house in LA at the beach and joined a private practice which belonged to Naomi and Samuel Bennett. Both are very good friends from med school and were looking for new partners to join the practice.

She happily obeyed but then only 3 minutes later her peaceful sleep was disturbed again as something banged loudly. She now was fully awake even though a little cranky that she was disturbed again.

So she groggily climed out of bed and got her dressing gown so she could go downstairs to look what has caused all the noise or better said who.

"Where do you want us to put it sir?" A mans voice echoed through the house.  
"Upstairs, I`ll lead the way." He walked towards the stairs meeting Addison halfway.

"Hey what`s going on?" She asked confused, rubbing her eyes which were still very sleepy.

"That my beauty, is the nursery." He answered and pecked her lips.  
"Oh well in this case" She replied now a smile across her face and her mood improved immediately. It wasn`t so bad after all now that she knew there was a reason for waking her up so early.

"If you could just go on walking, this stuff is very heavy sir." One of the man said, after patiently waiting to bring the delivery up the stairs.

"Oh I`m sorry." Addison answered and rushed up the stairs feeling her husband hands on her waist.

"Ooops" a little boy, about 4 years old said laughing when he bumped into Addison`s legs.

"Good morning to you too Matthew" Addison laughed and picked up the boy to free the way.

He tried to free himself, playingly fighting himself free from her mother`s grip with less success because she started tickling him and dropping him on his bed, which looks like a little bus. It`s a loft bunk, he`s sleeping in the lower bed right now, but he`s waiting eagerly until his parents think that he`s old enough to sleep in the upper bed. It was a crazy present from his uncle archer for Matthew`s third birthday.

Derek would have loved to watch his son and wife a little longer, but someone had to show the men where to put all the stuff. The sailing in the nursery is already colored in a soft pink and the walls in a grey-blue color. Furthermore, did they paint a tree with golden leaves on the wall where the crib would be placed soon.

Of course the baby would sleep with Addison and Derek in the master bedroom for the first couple of weeks. Therefore they bought a cradle, when they were pregnant the first time and had Matthew. The boy ended up sleeping in the master bedroom for 6 month before Derek finally was able to convince Addison that he would be perfectly fine in his nursery as well.

It was about time that they would finish the nursery because the computed due date was only 3 weeks away and there still is the chance that it will be born early.

"Stop mommy pwleaseeee!" the boy laughed dearly, wriggling.  
"Hmm, will you help me making breakfast then?" She asked not stopping tickling though.

"Yesss, I promise" he added after Addison still hasn`t stopped.

"All right then" she laughed and helped Matthew standing up kissing him a kiss on top of the head.

"Are you getting along all right?" She asked when she saw Derek and the two men entering the house again with another big package.

"Yeah, we`re good." He smiled at her and kissed her softly when he passed her. "Good morning Mattie." He added ruffling the boy`s soft curles, which are matching to Dereks.

But the boy was busy watching the two strangers walking up _their _stairs, in their _house_.  
"What are they doing?" He asked his father glaring quizzical at him. He dislikes strangers very much, always has.

"They bring the new crib and rocking chair, as well as a new changing table and dresser for your little sister." Derek answered following the two men to the first floor.

After they had breakfast, Derek drove Matthew over to Pete`s and Violet`s. Matthew`s good friends with Lucas and they have arranged a play date and a sleepover so Addison and Derek could finally finish everything important before the new baby arrives. Therefore, it was perfect that the furniture arrived that morning.

When he came back he found his wife in the nursery, sitting on the floor reading the instruction. She also has already unpacked one of the bigger packets. All over the floor were bolts and laths scattered, which obviously belonged to the new crib.

"Oh I see you`re already hardworking." He smiled at this picture. Wouldn`t she be pregnant, she`d probably had already put up the crib without his help. Though the huge belly really was an obstacle in this case.

"Yes I am" she smiled. "Come and help me, I can`t do it on my own." She instructed excited, quickly looking back to the instructions. She was so excited ever since she knew they would have a second baby and even more since they knew it`s a girl.

Only 2 hours later they had build up the new crib, the changing table, the new dresser and the rocking chair. They also mounted a couple of shelfs on which they put a couple of children books, stuffed animals and a couple of more things. Now they were ready for their little baby girl to arrive. Everything was prepared, even Addison`s bag for the hospital was already packed and in the car.

"Are you contend?" He asked her wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"I think I`m very contend. This is perfect." She said and tourned around so she was facing him. He felt light kicks as her belly was pressed in his abdomen."

"I think she`s happy that you`re happy." He states when he felt their daughter move.

"Hopefully, I`m not going to redecorate it." They both burst into laughter and hugged each other tighly.

"You make me the happiest man in the world. I`m so lucky to have you. You`re the love of my life Addison."

"You`re making me cry." She complains, tears shimmering in her so beautiful eyes.

"At least they are tears of joy" he replied while wiping away a couple of tears which escaped Addisons eyes, slowly making their way down her cheeks.

"Derek, you`re the love of my life too."

After she said that he hugged her even closer and kissing her nose softly.

Exactly two weeks later, 7 days earlier than planned, they welcomed their little baby girl Alicia-Duerre Shepherd. Gladly they left Matthew with Pete again or else they would have had another problem.

"Add you need to push honey."

"You do it!" She replied pissed of. The birth wasn`t exactly going according to plan and that really pissed her off. She wanted a water birth at the practice, but this she wouldn`t have imagined in her worst nightmares. It was so easy with Matthew, well as easy a birth can be. But like Derek said, their daughter has to enter the world in an extraorinary way. He also said, like mother like daugther and that didn`t exactly enlighten her mood. Something they wouldn`t forget so easily.

It all started with Derek trying to convince Addison to take a walk. A walk in the middle of nowhere like Addison likes to point out. And as clever as Derek was, he forgot to tank up the car and he also forgot to take his cellphone. And as the situation wasn`t already bad enough, Addison`s battery died before they had the chance to call for help.

"Der, something is wrong okay? I can feel it." She added now her eyes becoming teary.

"No Addison, everything is fine, I can see the head. She`s coming baby."

"It feels wrong?" She said horrified softly feeling the baby`s head.

"Honey, everything`s all right. You`ll see she`ll pop out any minute." He said trying to make her smile.

"This is not the time to be funny Derek." Addison yelled at him.

"Honey, woman have done it since ever. Giving birth without medical assistance is the most natural thing. You just feel uncomfortable because we`re out here and don`t have any medical supplies. Right?" He asked trying to catch her glimpse, crawling to her to caress her face.

She slowly nodded her head breathing deeply, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"All right, are you okay now?" He asked her softly but only got a nod as a reply.

He was as scared as she was. He`s never delived a baby before. It`s his first time. Right now he really wished that he became an OB/GYN.

"Please make sure she comes out safe." Addison whispered.

"I`ll do everything to make sure she`s safe." He said stroking her cheek before moving between her legs so he could watch the birth and help their baby enter the world.

"All right, I got it okay?" Not long afterwards the baby`s head was out.

"Are you okay Addison?" he asked horrified because she hasn`t said anything in a while.

"Der help me." She cried desperately. Still she was in the middle of nowhere, giving birth in their cars trunk.

"Honey, what do you want me to do?" he asked frightened. When she gave birth to Matthew she was so strong, not complaining much about the pain. Even though, she refused pain killers. She was the Addison everybody knows. But this time though, is different and it scares him.

"Just take her out." She cried and a sob left her lips. She tried to be strong, but she just wasn`t strong right now and there was nothing she could do about it.

"There`s only the shoulders now. You can do it baby. I know you can" Derek encuraged his wife. This was the only way he knew how to help her. Encourage her, that she can do it.

It only took a couple of more pushes before Alicia was born.

Addison leaned against the back seat holding her arms out for her daughter. Derek has cut the cord and stanched it with a gum band. After he handed the newborn to it`s mother he moved closer to his wife and daughter and placed an arm around Addie`s shoulders so she could lean her head on his chest.

"Are you okay?" he asked her softly stroking through her hair. He was torn between his daughter, which was the most beautiful baby girl he has ever seen and his wife who seemed to be worn out. Well it sure wasn`t an easy birth.

Her reply was a simple nod. Her focus was on her daughter and only her. The baby was crying and kicking desperately not used to have so much space just yet and being born surely is very exhausting.

Derek cleaned the baby a little and wrapped it in a clean blanket.

"Shh Alicia, everything is all right now sweetie. You`re safe with mommy and daddy." Addison whispered soothingly to the baby while caressing the babies cheek.

It was getting late and they still were there. Addison told Derek to walk to the next house to get help, but he was scared to leave them alone. She just gave birth and he didn`t feel comfortable leaving her alone. Something could happen.

Thankfully they told Pete where they went and when it was 7:30 in the evening, he found the couple.

"Thank god I found you. We were worried." He said after he parked his car next to the Shepherd`s car. Derek was standing next to the car and greeted him.

"Are you guys okay?" he asked motioning to Addison who was asleep in the trunk.

"She went into labour not long after the car striked and gave birth about 2 hours ago. It wasn`t easy for her." Derek said honestly. "But they are both okay now. It`s a girl." He added quickly when he realized Pete was silently asking. Then he walked towards the car to show the tiny babygirl to his friend.

"She sure knows how to make an entrance." Pete said smiling at the infant.

"She`s beautiful. What`s her name?"  
"Alicia-Duerre Shepherd."

"That`s a nice name." He said stroking over the newborns cheek.

"I better wake up Addie. She urgently needs a check up. It`s not exactly steril in here and I want to make sure everything is all right with both of them."

"I`ve never been so happy to see you Pete." Addison said and hugged him.

"Hey, how are you doing?"  
"Okay I guess. Glad to get into a real bed soon." She smile slightly and sat down in the back seat of Pete`s car.

A couple of days later

"Hey" He greeted her from behind his arms placing around her waist.

"Hey" She whispered silently showing him what she`s looking at.

What he saw, was his son and daughter both asleep on the couch. Matthew protoctivly placed his arms around the baby and then fell asleep.

"They are amazing." He said smiling. "Do you want me to take him to bed?"  
"That would be nice."

"Derek?"  
"Yes Addie?"  
"I love you."

"And I love you. More than anything else in this world. You are my everything. You and the kids."

The end!

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So what do you guys think? Do you like it?

PS: There are links for the nursery (at least the walls, I really like them a lot!) and Matthew`s bed on my profile. Just in case you`re interested.


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